Tag Archives: browns

Throwing up a hail mary

8 Dec

Last week was disappointing not only to lose my picks but to watch the Jaguars under perform in person. It poured most of the game and I left with soaking wet shoes and less moola in my pocket. I don’t typically hold grudges but I’m taking my anger from last weeks game and turning on the Jags against my Jets this week. I haven’t liked any of the spread this week so I’ve decided to emulate my friends horse betting style which is to pick every horse except the favorite and put them in a convoluted wheel. Somehow this has worked for him, I hate the ponies, and prefer S’mores at a campfire.

Texans Patriots +3.5
Cowboys Bengals +3
Jets Jaguars -2.5
Titans Colts +5.5
Browns Chiefs -6.5
Panthers Falcons +3.5

I am picking a season-high six games and hope to hit atleast four (66.6%, devil-like no?)

Texans +3.5 Patriots: The Pats are not as good as people think they are. They play in a crappy division and have lost to legit bad teams. I heard that Brady hasn’t lost at home in December, does this really make any sense? Odds are most of those games were against the Bills, Jets, or Dolphins and the Pats lost to the Cardinals at home in Week 2. Unfortunately, I don’t think people will get off their knees for Brady anytime soon but I see him throwing a couple interceptions and going to the sideline to put his Uggs on after JJ Watt sacks him for the game in the fourth.

Cowboys +3 Bengals: This game worries me but if Romo shows up, with help from a returning Demarco Murray, they could win this game, albeit in Cincinnati. The Cowboys are surprisingly only a game behind the Gmen for the division lead. I think they need this game more and show up Sunday.

Jets -2.5 Jaguars: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck the Jags. Cecil Shorts, whom I raved about last week, is out with  a concussion (even though he passed concussion tests). I’m a Jets fan (yes, it’s sad) and want McElroy to start but Sanchez should play alright after an awful week. They need to win out against under .500 teams to have a chance at the playoff (why am I hoping for this?)

Titans +5.5 Colts: This game will be closer than people think. I don’t usually take a team getting points if I don’t think they can win the game but Chris Johnson is due for a big game (he’s been due since his signed that contract) and the Colts have an anemic run defense. <Insert Andrew Luck type pun> the Colts may also over look the Titans to next weeks game at Houston.

Browns -6.5 Chiefs: Could be a low scoring game which is a problem for a touchdown type cover but I see the Browns winning by 8 enroute to a Bad-team-that’s-no-so-bad title. Too soon to make bad jokes here so I’ll just include a video made by God on why he hates Cleveland.

Panthers +3.5 Falcons: The Panthers find ways to lose close games and the Falcons find ways to win close games. I can see the Falcons winning by a point or not bringing their all for a division game when they’ve already locked up the division. The Falcons may have a decent lead at half but the sleepy Panthers will get annoyed and decide to actually win a game this year.

Good luck and may you cover!

Update: I hit oil! 5 for 5 so far and hedged the Texans bet to lock in an all-time high in winnings for the week. 

Planning for Vegas

17 Nov

So after a few hour seminar I was awarded a choice of airfare and two night stay at either Las Vegas or Orlando, not that I know of anything in Orlando but it looks like I’ll be taking a trip to Vegas sometime this year. I’ll remember to pack a toothbrush and bring my awful picks with me. Here’s the lot of them, I’m thinking this is my weekend to hit, I already had a few bad weeks and I’m carrying mojo from the last couple weeks.

Browns Cowboys 7.5
Jaguars Texans 15.5
Buccaneers Panthers -1.5

Browns +7.5 v Cowboys: Browns are a decent team as they showed last week v the G-men. The Cowboys are extremely inconsistent and aren’t playing well at home. I see the Browns challenge for the win in a low scoring game.

Jaguars +15.5 v Texans: If you considered taking Texans -15.5, or -16 earlier this week, I would like to meet you. I have not met anyone willing to lay more than 14 points in any NFL games. This is any NFL game and the Jags will prolly play better away from their empty home stadium.

Buccaneers -1.5 v Panthers: This is becoming bet heavy by the public as the Bucs are 7-2 ATS and the Cam Newton polish isn’t ‘new’ to bettors anymore. I like the Bucs to win this by a touchdown and one of the Carolina cheerleaders to slap Newton when he can’t complete a game-winning drive.

Good luck and may you cover!

Update: 3-0! Lovin’ it! With these teams individually and a small parlay tying them together I’m back on the plus side for the season. I will most likely take Chicago tomorrow night in a upset featuring back-up QB’s for teams that I think will make it to the Superbowl.

Beam me up some redemption!

26 Oct

This is all about redemption, I’m coming back with a vengeance. After a couple weeks of stagnant losses, I’m doubling my bet amounts and decreasing the amount of parlays I squander.

Jets -2.5 Dolphins : As ‘Beam me up’ Scotty said, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me” this line doesn’t make sense. For those that took the Dolphins in the last meeting were fooled by an overtime field goal. If you get fooled again on this one, it’s your own fault. The Jets had a decent loss against the Patriots, and although they are banged up, the Dolphins’ best shot at the pro-bowl is their punter. Jets won their last meeting 23-20 in overtime in Miami. They won’t need overtime to get this one done.

Chargers -3 Browns : Are we sure this is the right line? Chargers have a good run defense (70 ish ypg allowed) and the Browns have an injured Trent Richardson that couldn’t get it done against the Colts (I took the Browns last week) with one of the league’s worst d’s. Philip Rivers is coming off an ugly 6 turnover game v Denver but had a bye week to forget about it. Bye week teams are around 70% ATS this season (although I don’t like the other teams coming of byes this week as much).

As I said, I’m taking these teams hard. I suggest the parlay which will this free dollar into $3.50. I know, you’re welcome.

Good luck and may you cover.

Update: The Jets’ spread has dropped to -1.5 and I’m storming mad. There is no reason to not take it at that line as well, except for the thought that I could lose both. Yeah, sure that could happen. 

The Jaguars were listed at +15.5 and +850 moneyline v. the Packers a couple days ago, now the lines have dropped to +14.5 and +750 ML. I can’t see a 15 point spread being covered and the Packers are only 4-3, might see where this line is at Sunday morning.

Also thinking about the Saints moneyline v. the Broncos, have time to make that move, maybe I’ll see how bad my Jets pick is first.

Parlay my picks [Jets -1.5, Chargers -3, Jaguars +14.5, & Saints +6] Bet $1, which you get for free by clicking this, and it’ll turn into $11 when we hit.

Who let the underdogs out? Week 7

20 Oct

Running on a high from the Thursday night wins (Manningham didn’t play so that was cancelled) so I put in a few picks already but I like a ton of games this week.

Ravens Texans 7
Jets Patriots 10.5
Browns Colts ML
Cardinals Vikings 6.5
Bears Lions -6.5
Over Under 47.5

Ravens (+7) v Texans: Looks tough with a banged up Ravens D and no Ray Lewis but the Texans haven’t been blowing teams out recently and I like the Ray Rice to tear up the ground game for some reason. This game should be close for three quarters and then I expect someone to stumble and lose it early in the fourth. Turnovers will decide this game.

Jets (+10.5) Patriots: C’mon now? Seriously? This isn’t even nice, the Jets might be bad, and Belichek might want to run up the score on Rex Ryan, but the Patriots have close to no defense, if the Jets don’t score in the 1st quarter it might be over, but what is up with a double-digit spread in a divisional game. Yes, I’m a Jets fan, but if you take the Patriots here, you’re crazy. Did you forget about them losing to the birds (Cardinals and Seahawks)?

Browns over Colts: We know neither team is good but seeing what Shonne Green did against the Colts is making me side with them. Browns would be favored in this game if Trent Richardson was definite and healthy.

Cardinals (+6.5) Vikings: This dog pick could sting a bit similar to how the Vikings burned me against the Titans. Both teams coming off a loss I like the Cards covering in a good one.

Bears (-6.5) Lions: I see a crazy blowout no one expects. Cutler decides to show up, Marshall has a huge game on prime-time and Stafford might do well but I think he falls on his face trying to start up a comeback.

Over 47.5 on the Bears-Lions (Tigers…oh my!) game mainly cause its Monday night. Might double down on this if I’m up after Sunday.

I’m spread out all of these game but if you forced me to give you one pick I’d go with the Browns.

Good luck and may you cover.

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Update: Looks like I’m awful, not just awful but Lindsay Lohan at getting sober awful, at 1 pm EST games and over unders. I’ll keep this in mind for Week 7 but no promises. 

Week 5 picks

7 Oct

Didn’t get to do enough research Friday and had to study during the day Saturday so these may be late but here they are.

Browns Giants 8.5
Titans Vikings 5.5
Patriots Broncos -6.5
Seahawks Panthers 2.5 (-105)
Colts Packers 7

Browns (+8.5) v Giants: I’m forcing myself to pick this game because I haven’t lost in a game involving the Giants this year, took Philly at -1.5 last week. I could see this game coming down to Giants trying to get up by two scores to put the game away. That wouldn’t be nice but I also noticed the O/U is 44. I can’t see the Giants winning by more than 10 with a total so low. Could happen, but I say Browns (+8.5).

Titans (+5.5) v Vikings: When was the last time someone said the Vikings were overrated, prolly when they had old man Fav-re. There’s something about Ma-tt Hasslebeck that makes me think the Titans could win this. I’ll think about the moneyline (+210) tomorrow morning. For those that found the joke in there, congrats.

Patriots (-6.5) v Broncos: Being a Jets fan, I hate hoping for the Patriots to do well, but the Jets v 49ers disaster last week told me to stop being stupid and play the numbers. The Patriots put up numbers whenever they want. Buffalo last week? 40+ and in the second half. It should be a battle of quarterbacks I’ll take Ugg-man.

Seahawks (+2.5) v Panthers: Well I’m already angry at this pick. I wanted the +3 (-130) line but something reset when I typed it in so I’m getting less than the game-deciding field goal. Overtime is a possibility in this game, I’ll look for a line on that and report back. I still think people are overvaluing Cam Newton from his ridiculousness last season. Also like the under 43 in this but OT wouldn’t help that cause.

Colts (+7) v Packers: The Cheeseheads aren’t off to such a good start. Typically the worst team in the previous season is good ATS the following season, the trend doesn’t seem to be following Luck & Co. (1-2 ATS) but it’s early.

Took these all for different amount individually with the Patriots for the most and Seahawks for the least but also parlayed the lot at 20-1. A man can dream, can’t he? Helps when the refs decide how your dreams end.

Good luck and feel free to the dollar below!

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Update: I somehow scratched and clawed my way to a profit this week. Glad to get back on track, I’m staying away from the Texans(-9 or so)-Jets game tomorrow, looking forward to Thursday’s Steeler-Titans game.