Shake it like a salt shaka – Week 15

Going 5-1 last week was awesome if not just plain skeet. Hoping for a dog-filled weekend of fun. My picks below:

Jaguars	Dolphins	7.5
Colts	Texans	9.5
Steelers	Cowboys	-1.5
Buccaneers	Saints	3.5
Panthers	Chargers	+135

Jaguars +7.5 Dolphins: It hurt me to take this pick but the Dolphins are bad at home and the Jaguars are better when they play on the road, I like where the hook is, calling it Dolphins 23 Jaguars 17

Colts +9.5 Texans: A lot of people are on the Colts this game, I also couldn’t turn down 9.5 points against the team I saw play against the Pats Monday night. These teams are in the same division, but haven’t played each other yet. There next game together is week 17, nice job with that scheduling. Division games aren’t typically a 10-point blowout (ignore last week Seahawks-Cardinals game).

Steelers -1.5 Cowboys: Two reasons, Big Ben is back, and Cowboys will be distracted from thinking about there teammates passing the previous Saturday.

Buccaneers +3.5 Saints: The Bucs have lost 3 straight so I see Schiano pulling out a few knives to get the victory. (Side note: anybody else confused that Schiano wants kickoffs abolished because one of his Rutgers players was paralyzed during a return but he continues to rush the QB when down by 8 with the other team in victory formation?)

Panthers +135 Chargers: I don’t believe the Chargers actually won last week against the Steelers (note if Brown had kicked the ball out of the endzone for a safety, instead of a fumble recovered TD, the game could’ve been different). I think the Panthers are streaking and Cam Newton may have more sponsors than wins but his commercials are hilarious.

Good luck and may you cover!

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Throwing up a hail mary

Last week was disappointing not only to lose my picks but to watch the Jaguars under perform in person. It poured most of the game and I left with soaking wet shoes and less moola in my pocket. I don’t typically hold grudges but I’m taking my anger from last weeks game and turning on the Jags against my Jets this week. I haven’t liked any of the spread this week so I’ve decided to emulate my friends horse betting style which is to pick every horse except the favorite and put them in a convoluted wheel. Somehow this has worked for him, I hate the ponies, and prefer S’mores at a campfire.

Texans	Patriots	+3.5
Cowboys	Bengals	+3
Jets	Jaguars	-2.5
Titans	Colts	+5.5
Browns	Chiefs	-6.5
Panthers	Falcons	+3.5

I am picking a season-high six games and hope to hit atleast four (66.6%, devil-like no?)

Texans +3.5 Patriots: The Pats are not as good as people think they are. They play in a crappy division and have lost to legit bad teams. I heard that Brady hasn’t lost at home in December, does this really make any sense? Odds are most of those games were against the Bills, Jets, or Dolphins and the Pats lost to the Cardinals at home in Week 2. Unfortunately, I don’t think people will get off their knees for Brady anytime soon but I see him throwing a couple interceptions and going to the sideline to put his Uggs on after JJ Watt sacks him for the game in the fourth.

Cowboys +3 Bengals: This game worries me but if Romo shows up, with help from a returning Demarco Murray, they could win this game, albeit in Cincinnati. The Cowboys are surprisingly only a game behind the Gmen for the division lead. I think they need this game more and show up Sunday.

Jets -2.5 Jaguars: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck the Jags. Cecil Shorts, whom I raved about last week, is out with  a concussion (even though he passed concussion tests). I’m a Jets fan (yes, it’s sad) and want McElroy to start but Sanchez should play alright after an awful week. They need to win out against under .500 teams to have a chance at the playoff (why am I hoping for this?)

Titans +5.5 Colts: This game will be closer than people think. I don’t usually take a team getting points if I don’t think they can win the game but Chris Johnson is due for a big game (he’s been due since his signed that contract) and the Colts have an anemic run defense. <Insert Andrew Luck type pun> the Colts may also over look the Titans to next weeks game at Houston.

Browns -6.5 Chiefs: Could be a low scoring game which is a problem for a touchdown type cover but I see the Browns winning by 8 enroute to a Bad-team-that’s-no-so-bad title. Too soon to make bad jokes here so I’ll just include a video made by God on why he hates Cleveland.

Panthers +3.5 Falcons: The Panthers find ways to lose close games and the Falcons find ways to win close games. I can see the Falcons winning by a point or not bringing their all for a division game when they’ve already locked up the division. The Falcons may have a decent lead at half but the sleepy Panthers will get annoyed and decide to actually win a game this year.

Good luck and may you cover!

Update: I hit oil! 5 for 5 so far and hedged the Texans bet to lock in an all-time high in winnings for the week. 

Who let the underdogs out? Week 7

Running on a high from the Thursday night wins (Manningham didn’t play so that was cancelled) so I put in a few picks already but I like a ton of games this week.

Ravens	Texans	7
Jets	Patriots	10.5
Browns	Colts	ML
Cardinals	Vikings	6.5
Bears	Lions	-6.5
Over	Under	47.5

Ravens (+7) v Texans: Looks tough with a banged up Ravens D and no Ray Lewis but the Texans haven’t been blowing teams out recently and I like the Ray Rice to tear up the ground game for some reason. This game should be close for three quarters and then I expect someone to stumble and lose it early in the fourth. Turnovers will decide this game.

Jets (+10.5) Patriots: C’mon now? Seriously? This isn’t even nice, the Jets might be bad, and Belichek might want to run up the score on Rex Ryan, but the Patriots have close to no defense, if the Jets don’t score in the 1st quarter it might be over, but what is up with a double-digit spread in a divisional game. Yes, I’m a Jets fan, but if you take the Patriots here, you’re crazy. Did you forget about them losing to the birds (Cardinals and Seahawks)?

Browns over Colts: We know neither team is good but seeing what Shonne Green did against the Colts is making me side with them. Browns would be favored in this game if Trent Richardson was definite and healthy.

Cardinals (+6.5) Vikings: This dog pick could sting a bit similar to how the Vikings burned me against the Titans. Both teams coming off a loss I like the Cards covering in a good one.

Bears (-6.5) Lions: I see a crazy blowout no one expects. Cutler decides to show up, Marshall has a huge game on prime-time and Stafford might do well but I think he falls on his face trying to start up a comeback.

Over 47.5 on the Bears-Lions (Tigers…oh my!) game mainly cause its Monday night. Might double down on this if I’m up after Sunday.

I’m spread out all of these game but if you forced me to give you one pick I’d go with the Browns.

Good luck and may you cover.

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Update: Looks like I’m awful, not just awful but Lindsay Lohan at getting sober awful, at 1 pm EST games and over unders. I’ll keep this in mind for Week 7 but no promises. 

Week 5 picks

Didn’t get to do enough research Friday and had to study during the day Saturday so these may be late but here they are.

Browns	Giants	8.5
Titans	Vikings	5.5
Patriots	Broncos	-6.5
Seahawks	Panthers	2.5 (-105)
Colts	Packers	7

Browns (+8.5) v Giants: I’m forcing myself to pick this game because I haven’t lost in a game involving the Giants this year, took Philly at -1.5 last week. I could see this game coming down to Giants trying to get up by two scores to put the game away. That wouldn’t be nice but I also noticed the O/U is 44. I can’t see the Giants winning by more than 10 with a total so low. Could happen, but I say Browns (+8.5).

Titans (+5.5) v Vikings: When was the last time someone said the Vikings were overrated, prolly when they had old man Fav-re. There’s something about Ma-tt Hasslebeck that makes me think the Titans could win this. I’ll think about the moneyline (+210) tomorrow morning. For those that found the joke in there, congrats.

Patriots (-6.5) v Broncos: Being a Jets fan, I hate hoping for the Patriots to do well, but the Jets v 49ers disaster last week told me to stop being stupid and play the numbers. The Patriots put up numbers whenever they want. Buffalo last week? 40+ and in the second half. It should be a battle of quarterbacks I’ll take Ugg-man.

Seahawks (+2.5) v Panthers: Well I’m already angry at this pick. I wanted the +3 (-130) line but something reset when I typed it in so I’m getting less than the game-deciding field goal. Overtime is a possibility in this game, I’ll look for a line on that and report back. I still think people are overvaluing Cam Newton from his ridiculousness last season. Also like the under 43 in this but OT wouldn’t help that cause.

Colts (+7) v Packers: The Cheeseheads aren’t off to such a good start. Typically the worst team in the previous season is good ATS the following season, the trend doesn’t seem to be following Luck & Co. (1-2 ATS) but it’s early.

Took these all for different amount individually with the Patriots for the most and Seahawks for the least but also parlayed the lot at 20-1. A man can dream, can’t he? Helps when the refs decide how your dreams end.

Good luck and feel free to the dollar below!

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Update: I somehow scratched and clawed my way to a profit this week. Glad to get back on track, I’m staying away from the Texans(-9 or so)-Jets game tomorrow, looking forward to Thursday’s Steeler-Titans game. 

Colts v. Bears

I must mention that I’ve been planning this pick for about a year now. I was hesitant with Luck at QB but I’m doing it anyways. I’m taking Colts +9.5.

Confused? Well here’s my reasoning, The worst team in the NFL the prior season (the Colts 2-14) are absurd in Week 1 ATS. I believe the stat I heard last year was 9-1 ATS (in the last decade) when the prior years worst team is an underdog in Week 1. The reason I was worried about Luck is I thought the spread might be buffered a little from Luck-y bandwagoners (aha) betting the Colts. At +9.5 that seems unlikely.

The Bears are a good team this year and typically good at home. They have revamped their receiving core with Brandon Marshall and, my sleeper for fantasy, Alshon Jeffery. The Colts have found a preseason leader in Luck and seem to be buying into his abilities as a rookie. Both teams have had more time last year to prepare for the season and are ready to play.