Throwing up a hail mary

Last week was disappointing not only to lose my picks but to watch the Jaguars under perform in person. It poured most of the game and I left with soaking wet shoes and less moola in my pocket. I don’t typically hold grudges but I’m taking my anger from last weeks game and turning on the Jags against my Jets this week. I haven’t liked any of the spread this week so I’ve decided to emulate my friends horse betting style which is to pick every horse except the favorite and put them in a convoluted wheel. Somehow this has worked for him, I hate the ponies, and prefer S’mores at a campfire.

Texans	Patriots	+3.5
Cowboys	Bengals	+3
Jets	Jaguars	-2.5
Titans	Colts	+5.5
Browns	Chiefs	-6.5
Panthers	Falcons	+3.5

I am picking a season-high six games and hope to hit atleast four (66.6%, devil-like no?)

Texans +3.5 Patriots: The Pats are not as good as people think they are. They play in a crappy division and have lost to legit bad teams. I heard that Brady hasn’t lost at home in December, does this really make any sense? Odds are most of those games were against the Bills, Jets, or Dolphins and the Pats lost to the Cardinals at home in Week 2. Unfortunately, I don’t think people will get off their knees for Brady anytime soon but I see him throwing a couple interceptions and going to the sideline to put his Uggs on after JJ Watt sacks him for the game in the fourth.

Cowboys +3 Bengals: This game worries me but if Romo shows up, with help from a returning Demarco Murray, they could win this game, albeit in Cincinnati. The Cowboys are surprisingly only a game behind the Gmen for the division lead. I think they need this game more and show up Sunday.

Jets -2.5 Jaguars: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck the Jags. Cecil Shorts, whom I raved about last week, is out with  a concussion (even though he passed concussion tests). I’m a Jets fan (yes, it’s sad) and want McElroy to start but Sanchez should play alright after an awful week. They need to win out against under .500 teams to have a chance at the playoff (why am I hoping for this?)

Titans +5.5 Colts: This game will be closer than people think. I don’t usually take a team getting points if I don’t think they can win the game but Chris Johnson is due for a big game (he’s been due since his signed that contract) and the Colts have an anemic run defense. <Insert Andrew Luck type pun> the Colts may also over look the Titans to next weeks game at Houston.

Browns -6.5 Chiefs: Could be a low scoring game which is a problem for a touchdown type cover but I see the Browns winning by 8 enroute to a Bad-team-that’s-no-so-bad title. Too soon to make bad jokes here so I’ll just include a video made by God on why he hates Cleveland.

Panthers +3.5 Falcons: The Panthers find ways to lose close games and the Falcons find ways to win close games. I can see the Falcons winning by a point or not bringing their all for a division game when they’ve already locked up the division. The Falcons may have a decent lead at half but the sleepy Panthers will get annoyed and decide to actually win a game this year.

Good luck and may you cover!

Update: I hit oil! 5 for 5 so far and hedged the Texans bet to lock in an all-time high in winnings for the week. 

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Wishing for two front teeth and a better year

I think I’ve just finished the worst year of my life so far. If life gets worse than this year, I will reconsider humanities’ existence. To make lemonade out of this situation would be to move on quicker than before and fix whatever it is that didn’t create enough happiness during the last year.

Rams +7.5 49ers: I do not trust Kaepernick even after playing well over the last two games. This again is a divisional game and I see the Rams keeping it within a field goal at home.

Buccaneers +7 Broncos: The Bucs are 8-2-1 ATS and I keep picking them. The Broncos are good, and Peyton Manning made them much better than I thought but this should be a close low scoring game.

Jaguars +6 Bills: I usually worry when I take a pick and most everyone else follows suit. I’ve been waiting for this spread to come out at +3 and I was ready to pounce, but +6, huh? Only way the Buffalo Jills cover this line is in OT and they get the ball first.

Good luck and may you cover!

Week 12 picks, stuffed with leftovers

I’ve had more time than usually to look at this weeks lines and I hate all of them. I think it would be tough to do better than 60% picking most of the games this week. Since I see betting accounts as an investment and I would like it to increase every week, I’ll still make a few bets (some really dumb) and take some of the safer moneylines instead.

Bears (no line yet) Vikings – There hasn’t been a line made yet but it should be around -6. This could swing 5 points (Millman rankings) depending on whether Cutler starts or not. I’ll take this moneyline either way because I think the Bears are better than people are giving them credit for.

Ravens (-1) Chargers – Norv Turner is one of the longest lasting bad coaches in the league. If the Ravens play decent on offense, I see the Ravens taking over the game in the second half.

Jaguars (+4) Titans – Peeps are all over the Titans (opened at +3), but the Jaguars are a better team than anyone thinks. Close losses are just as good as a win over a bad team when looking at spreads. Unfortunately, the Jags have lost by double digits in most of their home games, which gives me cause to worry, but I don’t think Moore’s performance last week was a fluke. Justin Blackmon and Cecil Shorts are good receivers.

Enjoy the leftovers

Good luck and may you cover!

Planning for Vegas

So after a few hour seminar I was awarded a choice of airfare and two night stay at either Las Vegas or Orlando, not that I know of anything in Orlando but it looks like I’ll be taking a trip to Vegas sometime this year. I’ll remember to pack a toothbrush and bring my awful picks with me. Here’s the lot of them, I’m thinking this is my weekend to hit, I already had a few bad weeks and I’m carrying mojo from the last couple weeks.

Browns	Cowboys	7.5
Jaguars	Texans	15.5
Buccaneers	Panthers	-1.5

Browns +7.5 v Cowboys: Browns are a decent team as they showed last week v the G-men. The Cowboys are extremely inconsistent and aren’t playing well at home. I see the Browns challenge for the win in a low scoring game.

Jaguars +15.5 v Texans: If you considered taking Texans -15.5, or -16 earlier this week, I would like to meet you. I have not met anyone willing to lay more than 14 points in any NFL games. This is any NFL game and the Jags will prolly play better away from their empty home stadium.

Buccaneers -1.5 v Panthers: This is becoming bet heavy by the public as the Bucs are 7-2 ATS and the Cam Newton polish isn’t ‘new’ to bettors anymore. I like the Bucs to win this by a touchdown and one of the Carolina cheerleaders to slap Newton when he can’t complete a game-winning drive.

Good luck and may you cover!

Update: 3-0! Lovin’ it! With these teams individually and a small parlay tying them together I’m back on the plus side for the season. I will most likely take Chicago tomorrow night in a upset featuring back-up QB’s for teams that I think will make it to the Superbowl.